Biden’s Debate Debacle: A Conservative’s Field Day

Look. While it’s fair to say conservatives are having a field day after Thursday night’s debate, the reality is that we may have hit upon a bipartisan point of agreement — Biden didn’t exactly seem to be at home mentally. So much so, Biden’s approval numbers have taken an absolute swan dive. As conservative analysts, we’re a little excited to have the chance to do a complete dissection of what is obviously a HUGE problem for the left.

The debate, held in Atlanta and broadcast by CNN, was supposed to be Biden’s moment to shine and reassure voters of his capability to lead the nation for another four years. Instead, it turned into a showcase of stumbles and stutters that left many wondering if the 81-year-old incumbent had accidentally wandered onto the wrong stage.

The fallout was swift and merciless. Predict It, a leading betting website, saw Biden’s shares plummet from a confident 85 cents pre-debate to a measly 61 cents post-debate – a whopping 28.2% decline. It’s as if the entire Democratic Party collectively face-palmed and hit the “sell” button simultaneously.

But wait, there’s more! The UK-based betting company Betfair, clearly not wanting to miss out on the action, quickly adjusted their odds. Biden’s chances of victory in November were slashed from 13/8 to 7/2, while Trump’s odds rose from 8/13 to 4/7. It seems the bookies across the pond have more faith in Trump’s ability to overcome his legal troubles than in Biden’s ability to string together a coherent sentence.

CNN’s John King, hardly a bastion of conservative thought, described the aftermath as causing “panic” within the Democratic Party. One can almost picture the frantic phone calls and emergency meetings taking place in dimly lit rooms across Washington D.C., as party officials desperately try to figure out how to spin this disaster into something remotely positive.

But let’s be honest, folks. This isn’t just about one bad debate performance. The concerns about Biden’s age and mental acuity have been simmering for months, if not years. A CNN poll from July 2022 revealed that a staggering 75% of Democrat and Democratic-leaning voters wanted to see their party nominate someone other than Biden for the 2024 race. It seems the only people who didn’t see this coming were Biden’s own advisors – and perhaps Biden himself, though it’s hard to tell what he sees these days.

The situation has become so dire that some Democrats are openly discussing the possibility of replacing Biden on the ballot. However, as NBC News points out, this is easier said than done. The Democratic Party’s rules make it nearly impossible to replace a nominee without their consent, let alone smoothly substitute someone else. It’s almost as if the party designed these rules without considering the possibility that their chosen candidate might forget where he parked Air Force One.

Of course, there’s always the option of Vice President Kamala Harris stepping in to save the day. But let’s face it, her approval ratings make Biden look like a rock star. Besides, even if Biden were to step down, Harris would still need to go through the nomination process like any other candidate. One can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from Republicans at the thought of facing Harris in the general election.

So, what’s a panicking Democrat to do? Some are eyeing California Governor Gavin Newsom as a potential savior. According to a poll conducted at the conservative Turning Point USA Student Action Summit, 30% of attendees believed Newsom would be the most formidable Democratic candidate. Of course, this is a bit like asking wolves which sheep they’d least like to eat, but beggars can’t be choosers.

As we look ahead to the second debate scheduled for September 10, one can’t help but wonder what new gaffes and stumbles await us. Will Biden mistake the debate stage for a bingo hall? Will he challenge Trump to a push-up contest? The possibilities are endless, and frankly, quite entertaining for those of us on the right side of the aisle.

In all seriousness, though, this situation raises some genuine concerns about the state of American democracy. When one of the two major parties is potentially stuck with a candidate who can’t make it through a debate without raising doubts about his cognitive abilities, it’s not just a problem for Democrats – it’s a problem for the entire nation.

But fear not, dear readers. As your trusty conservative analyst, I can assure you that we on the right will continue to monitor this situation closely, providing insightful commentary and the occasional chuckle as we watch the Democratic Party navigate this self-inflicted crisis. After all, in times like these, sometimes all you can do is laugh – or cry, if you’re a Democrat.

Do you have your popcorn ready? We’re pretty sure the next few installments of this political soap opera are going to be very interesting. The Democrats have a lot of work to do, and we’re ready and waiting to bring our own special flavor of analysis to the situation. We’d love to know what you think, too, though. Who do you think won the debates? Should the Democrats be scared? Send us an email with your thoughts!

Quote of the Day:

“Politicians and diapers must b change often, and for the same reason.” ~Mark Twain

Joke of the Day:

“We don’t approve of political jokes. We’ve seen too many get elected.” ~Reader’s Digest